U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
