everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
