Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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