by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize