you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
