We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Please, let me fuck your mom
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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