u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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