Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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