I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
