break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
