Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
