i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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