my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
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She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize