he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
