Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
