You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
