He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
