I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
