Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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