they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
