Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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