even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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