Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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