I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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