so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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