I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
