i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
