I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
