This girl is more easily done than said...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
