She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
