Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
