literally had 100 drinks last night.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
