Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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