we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize