I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
