Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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