hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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