my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
