you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
