Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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