Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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