he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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