About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
