biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
there is puke in my bra ... again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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