I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
