Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
