I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Bring me that man meat
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
