Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
we're so committed to being not committed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
