My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
