Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize