Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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