I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that's an acceptable place to lick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
