you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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