I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
