Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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