butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
