I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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