be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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