I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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