Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She announced her abortion via fbk
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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