What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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