Me too!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
