This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
