i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
