I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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