I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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