wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
