dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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