This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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