In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
